Welcome To My Castle

dictionaryofobscuresorrows:

n. a relationship or friendship that you can’t get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished, like an abandoned campsite whose smoldering embers still have the power to start a forest fire.

And she stood looking death in the face, tears streaming down her cheeks. Were they tears of joy, finally being able to escape from this hell in which she lived, or were they tears of grief, and pain, at what could’ve been, at what would’ve been, had her life went in a different path? Then again, her life was this way, so maybe it should end this way, or maybe this end is a whole new beginning, the beginning of the dreaded after-life.  She knew not if this decision was right, should she? Then again, could she? Was it strength, to take one’s own life as a solution to all their problems, or is this suicidal act merely an escape rather than a solution, to the problems that she faced?

It all started in this room, all the joy, all the pain. She remembered sitting here in her childhood, laughing with her friends, or crying, the terrible tears that would flow from her eyes when everything went wrong. But he was always there. He would wipe her tears away; promise tomorrow’s a better day. He would spread happiness and bliss by merely walking in the room wearing his radiant and golden smile. She would feel as though his presence was all she needed to survive, he would guide her through her life, always watching out for her whether from afar or while standing beside her. For he never left her side, not his soul anyway, he was always with her, even if he wasn’t there physically, he was there in her heart, shielding her, protecting her, guiding her through the dark.

But he was gone now, gone into the darkness. The rock which held her above the pit, the deep dark pit which led to the abyss, was gone, broken, shattered as was she. She fell, not knowing what she would find at the bottom, thinking maybe, just maybe, everything happened for the better, for the greater good, and maybe, just maybe, she would find something beautiful in the darkness. She couldn’t have been more mistaken. What she found in dark… was worse than her wildest imagination. She found… them. The demons which were in the pit were worse than the wildest of beasts and slyer than the most deceptive of men. She felt weak, powerless; she felt… vulnerable. And the worst part? The worst part was that the demons were inside her, escaping from the deepest, most unreachable places in her mind and the darkest pits of her soul. And now they were out, and the power they influenced upon her was… infinite. They would bend her till she broke, wear her out till she was nothing, beat her till she was numb, and she had no control. She could only pretend that everything was fine, put on a façade of happiness, hide the chaos deep within her soul, not knowing that doing so would only prolong the pain and intensify the horror which was to come.